PTA Night... I wasn't ready

Being able to review report cards a week or so before PTA meetings is like being able to read the blurb of a book before you dig in.  Got a taste, now you need the ingredients!  Amari's PTA meetings are usually pretty easy because she does extremely well in school.  So, it's nice to hear what the teachers think and to also get a chance to thank them for all that they do with her to keep her advanced. 

This year was my first year having Deonte since he went to live with his father four years ago.  And as you will soon read, it hasn't been pretty at all.  There are a lot of changes we have to go through to make things work and to basically learn each other all over again.  And it doesn't help that he's a teenager!  (Lord help me)  So, I have had to lock myself in my room on a few occasions just to collect my thoughts.

Since the first day of 9th grade, Deonte has struggled.  There is a lot Deonte doesn't know academically and is really far behind, thanks to a combination of horrible Maryland school systems, a father who could care less about his education and Deonte becoming withdrawn about desiring to do well.  So, we have been fighting tooth and nail to get this boy to get motivated to take charge of his learning.  The report card had more C's on it than a Cookie Monster episode of Sesame Street!  He received all C's and one F.  In my house, that equates a completely failing report card. 

The consensus from all of the teachers was, Deonte doesn't apply himself.  And that is no news to me, because a child usually doesn't do things one way in school and another way at home.  But, what angered me was that the teachers wanted to downplay his failures.  Maybe it's an educator thing, but if a child's current grade is a D, that is not "ok"!  Don't patronize us because we're black.  Save it for the next family that needs it!  So, we have a long road ahead of us.  Namely, trying to find that motivation button because it needs to be pressed ASAP!!!!

When we got home, during a notebook check, we discovered some kid had written some racial things in his notebook.  And sadly, Deonte didn't see the meaning nor the harm in it.  I was angry at him for allowing a child to take over his possessions like that.  But, more angry at myself for not educating my children more on their ancestry and heritage.  When Deonte told me he didn't know what a "coon" was and some little girl wrote it in his notebook, I realized right then in there why God led me to the Blockbuster store yesterday afternoon to rent the Roots DVD series.  So, we had family movie night with the kids taking notes. 

My heart broke when Deonte expressed sympathy for the ship owner who was very sick due to being on the boat and asked, "Aren't they going to take that man to the hospital?"  I couldn't believe it.  He had just witnessed 170 slaves captured, 98 dead and he felt it necessary to express concern for the white man responsible for transporting them to their new plantation life.  I had to ask, "Deonte, look at your skin.  Do you understand that you are a Black person?  A person of "African" American decent.  That someone on that boat was probably responsible for your life at this very moment?"  I then had to go to bed.  My mind and body was weary at that point. 

Each day the quest for self-realization continues in my home because right now it doesn't exist.