Digging out...

The past two days has had me sort of numb, I guess is the best way to put it.  I spent Monday at the kid's schools for class visits because it's American Education Week.  I started the morning at Amari's school.  Since I got there early, I decided to help set up.  That was funny.  They had all types of delectibles that needed to be arranged on the table and apparently I must have offended one of the volunteers when I told her, "lets clean off these trays because they are a little dusty".  She gave me this look and responded, "it is what it is, you know."  I chuckled to myself and thought, wow.  I'm no Suzy Homemaker, but I sure would hate to see her house.  What took the cake was, these women were setting up the food with their bare hands.  And I was at the sink, so I know NO ONE washed their hands first.  As good as the goodies looked, I decided I'd wait until lunch. 

The visit to Amari's class was really cute.  They stay extremely busy though.  We had been getting on Amari for bringing home unfinished work, thinking she was being slow or not focused, but I realized why.  They never had time to finish an activity before they moved to the next.  But, the class was extremely orderly.  I was really impressed. 

Next stop was Deonte's school.  I missed the important classes and landed in Health.  I really wanted to visit his Physics or Algebra classes because he's seems to not have a clue what they are teaching in these classes.  I noticed that when I am at his school, he tends to be stand-offish to me and acts like I'm not there.  I had to dig in him when he did the same thing at a soccer game.  This has really made me feel some kind of way.  I know he is having identity issues, and everything about me screams, "Black Woman" in the white world he is growing up in, but it affected me more than I expected it to. 

I have spent the past two days down in the dumps and have yet to put my finger on why.  I went home last night to a bunch of activity (house cleaning, kids hyperactive and baby needing attention) but, I was not "there".  I mustered up enough energy to make a pot of spaghetti and put DJ to sleep.  When my husband announced he was going to bed instead of the couch time we usually share, I was completely oblivious to the news.  I rented The Last Airbender and had absolutely no interest in even watching it.  I have to cycle my medication so that it continues to be effective and yesterday was my off-cycle day.  However, by 1:30am I caved hoping for some rest and a better tomorrow.  Let's hope...