Let's Catch Up... A Little Bit About Me (1979 - 1989)

Some may not find my life interesting at all... others may print this out and put it right next to their current Omar Tyree novel.  Whatever your position is, I'd love to hear your opinion on some of my journeys, random thoughts, trials, blessings and just plain comments.

First of all... I'm a 31 year old mother of three.  I live that classic, American life that we seem to hear about all the time now.  Married, struggling to make ends meet and waiting for my ship to come in.  Ha ha... well, I'm not looking for any ships, but trying to find my ocean liner right now.  I am on that quest to work for myself.  I have a great job with the government, but this place is a road trip away from home.  Home for me is 2 hours away.  And no, the pay sure isn't good enough to be packing sandwiches just to come to work.  But, it is what it is and it provides meals for the family.  My electrician husband is part of the "working today, laid off tomorrow" crew, so no big financial changes are in store for me just yet... But I'm ready!

I grew up in West Baltimore City with a mom, dad and 9 years later, a brother.  Life for me was up and down and bittersweet.  There were times that were quite happy and enjoyable, and others that made me feel like I was living in a Twilight Zone.  My dad was an alcoholic.  Nuff said... My mom was one of those tough mamas that you just didn't mess with.  No sir... not I.  Well, not until I became a teenager and I started smelling myself.  Ya'll know how that goes. 

I was born in March 1979 after two miscarriages.  I have always been excited to know I was "expected" and not "accepted".  I spent lots of time with my parents in their own special ways.  My mom was a seamstress and a stay-at-home mom.  So, the first few years of my life were spent in the kitchen beating on pots and pans, getting into stuff and begging her to take me outside to ride my bike in 30 degree weather.  My dad worked a lot.  He was in construction and built concrete foundations.  He was also an alcoholic, so time with him was pretty scarce.  Most times, he was not home, but when he was, he and my mom were upset with one another and I ended up being taken with her, wherever, to let off some steam.  But, though few and far between, my memories with my dad were very fond.  When my parents were getting along, they sang and danced, with me in the middle.  Or had family over to play Pinnochle until someone got too drunk and started arguing over a hand.  I loved my dad though.  I remember taking a bike ride with him around the corner to McDonald's one day.  And I was always subject to the "you know you were my firstborn" talks.  I received my last one of those the day he found out I was pregnant with my first son.  They were special, but they seemingly carried a lot of responsibility. 

At the age of 3, my mom became a Jehovah's Witness.  This meant no more Christmas and birthdays.  Not that I remember much of them anyway.  But, what I did remember was being able to go to my Grandma Lois' house to get "After Christmas" gifts... Yeah, I still don't understand that.  But, ok.  I was never close with my Grandma Lois because she was an alcoholic too.  One night we were returning from a "record party" at an aunt's house and I remember having to go pick her up from home because her drinking sent her into a violent fit.  That was my last memory of her, unfortunately.  But, it wouldn't be my last reminder.  My 6th birthday was something special.  My mom was at work and my dad sent me outside to play.  He finally called me in, to find a homemade vanilla cake with chocolate icing and those horrible pink candy letters with Happy Birthday spelled out.  He and our neighbor, Peanut sung Happy Birthday in the worse way.  LOL!  It was absolutely horrible, but I absolutely loved it!  I try to keep those type of small things in mind while I'm raising my own kids. 

I made a friend on my block right away.  My next door neighbor Michelle.  She was my homegirl.  We tried to do everything together.  Michelle lived in one of those homes where the kids raise each other.  Mom on drugs, dad running the streets.  So, she stayed with us as much as possible.  I remember her being sad a lot. She was the first kid I knew of getting beatings with extension cords and stuff.  So, there were plenty of sleepovers going on.  We had simple fun.  Dress up... cheers in the street... sitting on the bottom step giggling at the cute boys.  Michelle had a freedom I never had.  She could go OFF the block.  I wanted to know what that was like so bad.  But, I was never brave enough to try it.  At the age of 10, I moved away and didn't see Michelle again until I was 25.  I saw in church one day and haven't seen her since.  I did get in contact with her younger brother through Facebook, who gave me her number, but I haven't had to courage to call her yet.  Ask me why??  I have no idea. 

One summer day in 1987, my mom, one of my 13 aunts and I got on the subway to go downtown, to what I was told a job interview.  That was all I was told.  When we got inside, I'm seeing babies and pregnant mommies all over the walls and in the chairs everywhere... Job interview?  Yeah right.  Who she fooling?  Let's try this again.  "Mommy why are we here?"  Same answer.  At the point, I had an attitude because I knew I was being lied to.  Not a great feeling that day.  However, when we got home and she gave my dad and I the news of her being pregnant, I forgot all about being upset.  I was pretty excited, I think.  My only memory of my mom's pregnancy was her eating sausage that made her sick.  I just knew I'd never go through that myself - although here I stand, 3 children later!

my dad had a bad accident at work where he fell from a scapel and broke both arms and fractured his skull.  This changed all of our lives.I remember being sent to my aunt's house for a few weeks during the Christmas season that year.  My mom was 6 months pregnant and had been a stay-at-home mom for some time.  There were moments she'd do some temporary office work, but most times I remember her being home.  Until that winter.  My dad was no longer able to work due to injuries and a pending lawsuit.  So, she shipped me off and took to working long hours.  That time period was such a blur to me.  I only remember making a board game with my aunt for a school project.  Sad times seem to be very vivid or non-exisitent in my mind for some reason.

On the afternoon of April 13, 1998, my aunt came to pick me and my other cousins up from school early that day. I was told because my mom was having the baby.  Now that I think about it, I have no idea why that warrented an early dismissal, but hey... whatever.  I'll take it.  We went to see him in the hospital and I don't remember having any great feelings of revelation at all.  Norman was born and I had to spend more time away from home, because he contracted Measles.  When I was finally able to return, I became the big sister!  This meant babysitting.  At 9.  I remember a lot of weekend days having to sit on my mother's bed and watch TV with him while my parents left to do whatever they needed to do.  I still didn't know how to feel about this new person being around. 

One night I was sleeping in my parent's bed and I remember hearing them arguing in the bathroom.  After listening for a few minutes, I realized my father had been selling and using drugs.  So, with the new baby, new injury, new drug habit, old drinking habit and strain of it all... my mom packed us up, left my dad and moved out of our house.  We moved into an apartment in my Aunt's big family house to be known as Maine Avenue.  But, Norman ended up sleeping on our porch until my mother would take him back.  Crazy Daddy.